Tuesday, March 8, 2011

Normal?

nor-mal [nawr-muhl] -
-adjective
1. of standard type; usual

-noun
2. the standard or average

Related Forms:
anti normal, half-normal, hyper normal, quasi normal, semi normal, over normal

I HAVE NOT BEEN ABLE TO SHAKE A CONVERSATION I HAVE BEEN HAVING WITH MYSELF EACH NIGHT AS I LAY MY TIRED HEAD ON THE PILLOW. WHAT IS NORMAL? (PERHAPS IT IS "NORMAL" FOR SOME OF YOU TO HAVE SUCH CONVERSATIONS WITH YOURSELVES AND FOR OTHERS IT IS NOT. FOR ME, IT IS QUITE USUAL AND HAPPENS FREQUENTLY.)

FOR EXAMPLE:
IS IT "NORMAL" TO KEEP ONE'S GARBAGE CAN ATOP ONE'S KITCHEN COUNTER?
PERHAPS NO, BUT IN OUR HOUSEHOLD IT IS OUR STANDARD, AS WE HAVE A 15 MONTH OLD BOY WHO LIVES TO AGGRESSIVELY FLIP OPEN THE TOP AND THROW ANY OBJECT WITHIN REACH INTO THE STINKY CAN. IN FACT, YOU KNOW IT IS A SPECIAL OCCASION WHEN SAID GARBAGE CAN IS NOT ON TOP OF THE KITCHEN COUNTER.

IS IT "NORMAL" TO QUIZ ONE'S THIRTY-YEAR-OLD HUSBAND WITH COUNTLESS QUESTIONS ON A QUIET WEDNESDAY EVENING?
PERHAPS MOST 30-YEAR-OLDS HAVE THEIR TEST TAKING DAYS BEHIND THEM, BUT IN OUR HOUSEHOLD IT HAS BEEN A STANDARD TO HOLD SUCH STUDY SESSIONS AS MY DEAR HUSBAND STILL HAS TESTS TO TAKE AND MORE IN HIS FUTURE.

IS IT "NORMAL" TO HIT UP TARGET TWO TO THREE TIMES A WEEK?
PERHAPS NO. PERHAPS IT IS BORDERLINE ADDICTION, BUT THAT IS OFTEN WHERE I FIND MYSELF IN THE MIDST OF A BUSY WEEK - THE FIRST VISIT TO PURCHASE ALL ITEMS ON MY GROCERY LIST, THE SECOND VISIT TO PURCHASE ALL ITEMS THAT DID NOT MAKE IT ON MY GROCERY LIST, AND THE (SOMETIMES) THIRD TIME TO ENTERTAIN US AND SOCIALIZE. AND HERE I ASK - IS IT NORMAL TO PLAN TARGET OUTINGS WITH A GIRLFRIEND AND THREE CHILDREN IN TOW? PERHAPS NO, BUT IT IS SURE FUN AS STAY-AT-HOME MOMS!


I QUESTION THE IDEA OF NORMALCY BECAUSE I HAVE FOUND THAT TO LABEL SOMETHING AS "NORMAL" HAS OFTEN LED ME TO COMPARE, CRITICIZE, AND HAS ULTIMATELY LED TO MOMENTS OF DISCONTENTMENT IN MY LIFE. AS WOMEN, WE ARE FACED WITH IDEAS OF NORMALCY IN WEIGHT, CAREERS, CHILD REARING, SPOUSES, PRODUCTIVITY, SLEEP, AND MUCH MORE. WHEN IS A NORMAL TIME FOR CHILDREN TO WAKE? WHEN IS A NORMAL TIME TO HAVE DINNER ON THE TABLE? WHAT IS THE NORMAL WEIGHT FOR A WOMAN TO BE 6 WEEKS POST-PREGNANCY? WHAT IS THE NORMAL AMOUNT OF DATE NIGHTS A COUPLE SHOULD HAVE EACH MONTH? WHAT IS THE NORMAL AMOUNT OF TELEVISION FOR TODDLERS TO WATCH? SO MANY QUESTIONS, SO LITTLE TIME TO ADDRESS THEM WITH CAUTION, CARE, CONCERN AND GRACE.

PERSONALLY, I HAVE LIBERATED MY CONSCIENCE AND FREED MY WORRISOME SOUL WITH THE IDEA THAT THERE MIGHT NOT BE A TRUE STANDARD OF NORMAL. "NORMAL" MIGHT LOOK DIFFERENT IN EACH OF OUR HOUSEHOLDS. THE IDEA IS SMALL, BUT IT'S POTENTIAL IMPACT IS GREAT. IMAGINE IF WE ACCEPTED OUR DAILY CIRCUMSTANCES, OUR "NORMALS" FOR WHAT THEY WERE - SEASONS OF LIFE. WHAT IS NORMAL FOR ME TODAY, WAS CERTAINLY NOT NORMAL FOR ME WHEN I WAS A TWENTY-YEAR-OLD COLLEGE STUDENT, TWENTY-FOUR-YEAR-OLD NEWLYWED, OR FIRST TIME PARENT. SURLY MY GARBAGE CAN WILL NOT ALWAYS FIND ITS HOME ON MY KITCHEN COUNTER. (I ACTUALLY STRONGLY DISLIKE ITS PROMINENT POSITION IN OUR HOME, BUT HAVE LEARNED THAT IT IS CURRENTLY EASIER TO HAVE IT AS AN EYE-SORE THAN CONTINUALLY BATTLE MY SON'S CREATIVE PLACEMENT OF OBJECTS.) SURLY, THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN MY HUSBAND MAKES IT HOME TO THE DINNER TABLE MORE OFTEN THAN NOT. (OUR FAMILY DINNERS MIGHT JUST HAVE TO TAKE PLACE AT 7:30 INSTEAD OF 5:30.) SURLY, THERE WILL COME A TIME WHEN OUR HOUSEHOLD IS NOT WAKING AT 6:30 ON A SATURDAY MORNING. (I MIGHT JUST HAVE TO WAIT UNTIL JEFF AND I ARE EMPTY-NESTERS.)

MY PRAYER IS THAT IN LIFE, I WOULD LEARN TO EMBRACE "THE STANDARDS OF AVERAGE" IN MY LIFE. PERSONALLY, I FIND OUR DAYS TO HAVE MORE QUASI NORMAL ACTIVITY. ON THE OTHER HAND, PERHAPS "ANTI-NORMAL" OUGHT TO BE THE NEW "NORMAL." I HOPE YOU FIND PLEASURE AND SATISFACTION IN YOUR LIFE'S NORMALS.

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