Having just finished reading Velveteen Mothers, an inspirational post for mothers young or seasoned, I was prompted to put into words the many thoughts that have been swimming around my head for days.
Perhaps the Shirelles put it best when they sang, "Mama said there'll be days like this. There'll be days like this Mama said. (Mama said. Mama said.)." It seems like in our household we are having more "days like this" than not. It is a season of parenting that feels much like a scratched record that repeatedly skips, the familiar melody of the music interrupted by unpleasant noise. I would not call it a rut: 1.a groove or furrow in a soft road, caused by wheels 2. any deep mark, hole, or groove 3. a narrow or predictable way of life, set of attitudes, etc.; dreary or undeviating routine (esp in the phrase in a rut), for life with two young children is far from predictable; the plans of our household often deviating from the course we initially set. And, life with little ones is anything but dreary; their beaming smiles could melt the hardest of hearts. Perhaps, what we are experiencing are the true signs of growing pains as we acknowledge our little ones are no longer babes, but little people in need of constant instruction, consistent encouragement, persistent guidance, unwavering patience, unconditional love, and above all grace. Guidance each time they make a choice that is unsafe. Patience each time they throw a screaming fit in a public place. Encouragement to make good choices while playing with their sibling. Love each time they throw a screaming fit in a public place. Instruction on how to interact peacefully in the midst of disagreeing. Grace each time they throw a screaming fit in a public place. Oh, and have I mentioned patience, love, and grace each time they attempt to spit in your face out of anger. Yes, these are my "days like this," on continuous cycle. Just. Hit. Repeat.
I know that I am not alone in this season of parenthood, a season that is as unpredictable as it is fulfilling. To know this brings comfort. (Yes, I find comfort knowing there are other mothers out there being spat at, or fleeing Trader Joes with a screaming two-year-old boy on their hip. Shameless. I know.) Even more, I am comforted knowing that the challenges I face today as a mother will not be the same challenges I face tomorrow, the next month or a year from now. Two months ago, the little man dabbled in screeches. Today he screams in angst. Two months from now I hope he is silent. Not exactly, but I hope we are closer to the verbalization of his feelings opposed to him screaming them from the bloody rooftops. It is a process; one that each member of our family must endure. However, as parents (on bended knees), we are the ones responsible for guiding the process, tending to it, so that (Lord willing) our little ones are refined by it.
This past week, the idea of refinement has permeated my thought life. What I had been struggling to put into words Ann Voskamp so eloquently captured in her post -
"Why do I forget that becoming Real — becoming a velveteen mother – it will hurt in a thousand ways? The weary and the wearing away and it the most beautiful part. The six of them, they have made me sing and sob and they have made me know my sin. Strange, how hurting can heal. Strange, how sometimes we need what we don’t even know we want. Strange, how He makes ashes into beauty."
As Jeff and I make it a priority to love, teach, correct and discipline our children each and every day, I believe that it is we as parents who are undergoing the biggest transformation. As we become real, our hearts endure pain and sorrow, as we watch our little man's temper flare up once again. As we become real, we recognize our own shortcomings as we lose our patience, reacting to a situation instead of responding to it. Through this season of trial and error, we see the Lord at work in our own hearts as we rely more on Him for daily guidance, endurance, and encouragement. The Lord is allowing our children to grow us into more loving, committed, and grace-filled parents. To God be the glory.
*****
This afternoon as our little lady perused her bookshelf before nap time, she scanned the spines of countless books before settling on this one...
Perhaps the Shirelles put it best when they sang, "Mama said there'll be days like this. There'll be days like this Mama said. (Mama said. Mama said.)." It seems like in our household we are having more "days like this" than not. It is a season of parenting that feels much like a scratched record that repeatedly skips, the familiar melody of the music interrupted by unpleasant noise. I would not call it a rut: 1.
I know that I am not alone in this season of parenthood, a season that is as unpredictable as it is fulfilling. To know this brings comfort. (Yes, I find comfort knowing there are other mothers out there being spat at, or fleeing Trader Joes with a screaming two-year-old boy on their hip. Shameless. I know.) Even more, I am comforted knowing that the challenges I face today as a mother will not be the same challenges I face tomorrow, the next month or a year from now. Two months ago, the little man dabbled in screeches. Today he screams in angst. Two months from now I hope he is silent. Not exactly, but I hope we are closer to the verbalization of his feelings opposed to him screaming them from the bloody rooftops. It is a process; one that each member of our family must endure. However, as parents (on bended knees), we are the ones responsible for guiding the process, tending to it, so that (Lord willing) our little ones are refined by it.
This past week, the idea of refinement has permeated my thought life. What I had been struggling to put into words Ann Voskamp so eloquently captured in her post -
"Why do I forget that becoming Real — becoming a velveteen mother – it will hurt in a thousand ways? The weary and the wearing away and it the most beautiful part. The six of them, they have made me sing and sob and they have made me know my sin. Strange, how hurting can heal. Strange, how sometimes we need what we don’t even know we want. Strange, how He makes ashes into beauty."
As Jeff and I make it a priority to love, teach, correct and discipline our children each and every day, I believe that it is we as parents who are undergoing the biggest transformation. As we become real, our hearts endure pain and sorrow, as we watch our little man's temper flare up once again. As we become real, we recognize our own shortcomings as we lose our patience, reacting to a situation instead of responding to it. Through this season of trial and error, we see the Lord at work in our own hearts as we rely more on Him for daily guidance, endurance, and encouragement. The Lord is allowing our children to grow us into more loving, committed, and grace-filled parents. To God be the glory.
*****
This afternoon as our little lady perused her bookshelf before nap time, she scanned the spines of countless books before settling on this one...
Coincidence?
I think not.
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Hang in there girl....thanks for your post!
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