The Tale of the Turkey

FOR SOME THIS ENTRY MAY SEEM UNNECESSARY AND PERHAPS EVEN BORING, FOR OTHERS IT PROVIDES AN ENTERTAINING LOOK INTO ONE OF THE LARSON HIGHLIGHTS OF 2009. IN AN EFFORT TO BE FAIR TO ALL OF OUR FAITHFUL READERS, A LITTLE BACKGROUND INFORMATION MUST BE PROVIDED...

THE TALE YOU ARE ABOUT TO READ HAS BEEN IN THE MAKING FOR A GOOD TWO YEARS NOW. A FEW YEARS BACK MY HUSBAND GOT WIND OF THE AMAZING TASTE AND QUALITY OF A DEEP FRIED BIRD. PEOPLE WOULD BOAST, "ONCE YOU GO FRIED, YOU NEVER GO BACK." THUS BEGAN HIS CAMPAIGN FOR THE DEEP FRIED THANKSGIVING TURKEY. NOW, WHO ARE WE TO BREAK THANKSGIVING TRADITION - THE TEDIOUS HOURS DEVOTED TO SELECTING THE PERFECT TURKEY, GUTTING IT, BASTING IT, WATCHING IT TURN GOLDEN BROWN IN THE OVEN, WHILE FAMILY MEMBERS SALIVATE ALL AFTERNOON LONG? YET, JEFF PRESSED ON, FINDING WAYS TO BRING DEEP FRIED TURKEYS INTO ANY LARSON CONVERSATION. IT APPEARS HIS PERSEVERANCE AND DEEP ROOTED PASSION HAD FINALLY PAID OFF WHEN HIS PARENTS AGREED TO PURCHASE A DEEP FRYER AND GALLONS OF PEANUT OIL FOR OUR LABOR DAY WEEKEND AT CAMP DAVID. (THERE WAS NO WAY A BIRD WOULD BE FRIED FOR THE FIRST TIME ON THANKSGIVING DAY, A PRACTICE BIRD WAS NECESSARY!) IT IS HARD TO SAY HOW MUCH TIME WAS DEVOTED TO RESEARCHING THE DELICATE PROCESS OF DEEP FRYING BEFORE OUR ARRIVAL AT CAMP DAVID, OR THE PERCENTAGE OF CONVERSATION DEVOTED TO THE FRYING OF THE BIRD ONCE WE ARRIVED. (I WAS TEMPTED TO CLOCK THE MINUTES/HOURS.) NOR, CAN I ADEQUATELY EXPRESS IN WORDS THE HUMOR THAT SURROUNDED THE EVENT. WHAT I CAN VOUCH FOR IS THE PURE DELIGHT ONE EXPERIENCES WHEN CREATING THE PERFECT BITE - COMBINING THE MOST TENDER, MOIST MEAT WITH THE SALTY, CRISPY SKIN OF THE DEEP FRIED BIRD. AH...PERFECTION! WHILE WE WERE ONCE SKEPTICS, WE ARE DOUBTING THOMASES NO MORE. HATS OFF TO MY HUBBY, WHO ONCE AGAIN HAS CHANGED MY LIFE FOR THE BETTER.

LOOK OUT THANKSGIVING BIRD OF 2009, OUR BUBBLY POT OF PEANUT OIL AWAITS YOU!

THE TORTURING DEVICE

THIS MECHANISM SAT IN THE DRIVEWAY ALL AFTERNOON LONG. TO SOME PASSING BY, IT MAY HAVE APPEARED AS THOUGH SOME SORT OF BOMB EXPERIMENTATION WAS GOING ON.

THE EVER IMPORTANT DRY RUB. OBSERVE HOW JEFF WORKS WITH THE DELICATE HANDS OF SURGEON.

GEARING UP FOR THE BIG SHOW
WHAT CHARLOTTE DOES NOT REALIZE NOW IS THAT SHE WILL MISS TASTING THE FRUITS OF HER FATHER'S LABOR. DON'T WORRY KID...THANKSGIVING IS RIGHT AROUND THE CORNER!

THE PEANUT GALLERY
YES, WE DID IN FACT BRING CHAIRS BACK ONE BY ONE TO WATCH THE MIGHTY SPECTACLE UNFOLD.

THE MASTER CHEF

AFTER HOURS OF RESEARCH, WE DISCOVERED THE DANGERS INVOLVED IN HEATING GALLONS OF PEANUT OIL TO 350 DEGREES AND DROPPING A 16 POUND BIRD INTO IT...THUS THE HEAD TO TOE GEAR.

AND, LETS NOT FORGET BOB "THE FIRE MARSHALL" MALLOF

FIRE BOOTS, GLOVE AND EXTINGUISHER ON HAND - WE DID NOT FEEL IT NECESSARY TO END THE CAREERS OF TWO SURGEONS IN THE PURSUIT OF THE PERFECT BIRD.

HOW MANY MEN DOES IT TAKE TO DEEP FRY A BIRD?

THREE, A LONG BROOM, SAFETY GOGGLES, GLOVES, STOP WATCH, AND A PERFECTLY TIMED DROP. INSTRUCTIONS SUGGEST LOWERING THE BIRD OVER A SPAN OF 90 SECONDS. YOU BETCHA DOC LARSON KEPT A KEEN EYE ON HIS WATCH!

THE RESULT
I APOLOGIZE IF YOU FIND YOURSELF SALIVATING AT THIS MOMENT.

JEFF ADMIRES HIS WORK

THE SAD REMAINS

IT WAS HARD TO CALL IT QUITS WHILE EATING SUCH A SPLENDID PIECE OF MEAT, BUT ALL GOOD THINGS MUST COME TO AN END. AT ONE POINT, I DID OFFER TO BRING DOWN MY EXTRA PAIR OF MATERNITY PANTS FOR THOSE THAT KEPT CONSUMING.

THIS WILL SURELY GO DOWN AS A FAVORITE LARSON FAMILY MOMENT AND THERE WERE DEFINITE TALKS OF CREATING A NEW FAMILY TRADITION WITH THE DEEP FRYING OF THE BIRD. I ONLY HOPE THAT ONE DAY YOU, TOO, CAN EXPERIENCE THE RICH FLAVORS OF THE PERFECTLY FRIED BIRD.